Hello 2012!

Now is the time for extraordinary actions and extraordinary living.   It is time to push boundaries, exist outside of my comfort zone and dream big.   It is time to challenge the status quo, to dare to change something and to expect the unexpected.    Nothing is impossible.   Now it is time get to work.

Winding down 2011

Its the time of year when reflection becomes the topic of conversation.    News programs recall the most notable events of the year; entertainment shows list who we’ve lost and radio station countdown the top songs of the past 12 months.  It is only appropriate that I too take a look at what has happened, celebrate, course correct and move forward.    Last year at this time, I was a bit vexed because I had paid over $3000 to celebrate New Year’s in the arid air of Dubai and the trip was canceled due to the major snow event that paralyzed the east coast on the day after Christmas.   My youngest sister offered to let me crash in her corporate apartment in NYC for the New Year, which was very thoughtful.   Her apartment was so close to time square that we had to request permission from the police to access it during the day on New Year’s Eve.    I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate, though.    She and her then fiance went salsa dancing.   I stayed back in the apartment, sulking, but thinking about what I needed to change.

Over the course of the next few days, I devised a list of what I didn’t like about myself and what I wanted to be different.    I was successful in moving east and starting school and even surprised myself by moving forward with ideas that I have spent a lot of time talking about.   The critical moment for me, I think, was taking action and giving notice at my job.   Having worked in some form of behavior change for the past several years, I was familiar with lots of tricks of the trade.    I first learned about the Transtheoretical Model of Behavior change when I was working on developing a program to reduce obesity.  I even traveled to Rhode Island to meet with the model’s creator, Prof. James Prochaska.    Outside of work,  I have used the model to help me lose weight by myself.   It basically stages people based on their readiness to change, and as they move towards changing their behavior, they progress through this sequence of stages.   The stages are precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance and termination.   The concept really works if implemented at each stage you are in.    You just have to make sure that your environment is conducive to you being successful in your current stage and moves you to the next.  I failed in the maintenance stage.   I didn’t set up the appropriate support environment for my self to deal with a stressful boss.   I shifted to prioritizing work over my own health.  For this move,  I think the past few years have focused on precontemplation, contemplation and preparation.   I needed to get things in order to the point I was comfortable walking away from the job.   Finally taking that one action has helped to change my mindset about life–these days it seems exciting!  I really don’t know what to expect over the next six months to a year, but I feel like 2012 will be a good one!

I am still working on my resolutions for 2012, but will post them at the dawn of the new year!

 

Views from Paris…

Parisians pride themselves in their ability to titillate the senses.   They did not disappoint in the Chanel holiday window displays at the Galleries Lafayette.   Leveraging visually rich displays, they also incorporated automated marionettes to bring the windows to life.  Take a gander….

Tokyo Anime...Animated

Shanghai Chic

Viennese luxe

Russe

Paris and who else, but Karl Lagerfeld

Arabian nights....

I want to get away, I want flyyyy away, YEAH!

Homage to Great Britain...

Ball so hot…

I think I may talk to much.   And perhaps all of my lip is one reason I am single.   I have spent the past few days in Paris, and my French is really not that great.   I am not one of those modest folk that took French for four years in high school and is just a bit rusty.   I am one of those people that took two classes at Alliance Francaise afterwork and did one lesson in Fluenz.    So short of asking, “Ou est les toilettes?”, I am a pretty limited conversationalist.

I now know why and when people where things like Tyra's mask. I likey!

So I decided to go to a dinner party and ball in Paris celebrating French culture.   And, if you have ever been to France, you know that the French are pretty protective of their culture and language–and you may not get the greatest reception if you make no effort to engage them in their language on their turf.    I had no idea of what to expect, only that everything will be in French-I was stretching myself and stepping out side of my comfort zone.   Why would I do this?   Well one of my life goals is be fluent in another language-and I have always been partial to French because it is the language of many of my interests:  food, fashion, international development, Africa.  For me, French makes sense.   However, c’est tres difficile.

I am also still trying to decide if I really want to live in Paris and to get a feel for what it would be like.    Since starting a family soon is still a high priority of mine,  dating  is a real concern.    However, based on my experience at the dinner party and le fete, I actually believe I would date more here than I do in the States.  Eye contact, a nonchalant “Bonsoir”  and a smile, elicited an inviting smile in return.   Sometimes an offer to refill my flute followed.  Other times, an attempt at conversation would follow, however, I could only respond with “tres bien ou tres jolie ou oui ou non.”    Even though my in ability to verbally communicate could have been the driver of many bites, I still wish I had a better command of the language–if for no other reason but to know if people were speaking badly about me.

Either way, it was a great evening and one that was chock full of experiences that I will have to tell my daughter about one day.

Are my eggs for sale?

Last night, I was engaged in an SMS conversation with a guy I used to date about my eggs.   He asked me if he could have one.   He is a single physician and really wants to be a father.   Most of the conversation was just friendly bantor back and forth, but it does raise a few interesting questions.   Are my eggs for sale?    Would I go through another cycle to harvest eggs for a guy friend to use?

And the price is…

I think with my current bank, I am likely to say no.  They are not for sale.   Mainly because only a fraction will probably survive the thaw, and then, after fertilization, they would have to implant 3-5 in my 38+ year old uterus.    Hopefully I have 2 chances with this batch.    So no, not at any price would I give them up.

Half on a baby?

On the other hand, we may be able to chat if he wanted my eggs, specifically.  Then perhaps we could share in the cost of another round of retrieval.    Then we could freeze the embryos and have an even better chance of success!  One might ask, why don’t y’all just have a few nights of passion to do the trick.   Well, I am not ready to be pregnant right now (still in school).  And, as I have noted in prior posts, I don’t want to be pregnant and single.   Perhaps if he had the embryo, then he could hire a surrogate.

This raises SO many ethical questions.   For example, if he uses my embryo, but another woman’s womb, do I still have any maternal obligations/rights to the child?  This may not be such a big issue if I have my own kids later, but what if I am unable to carry children?   A girlfriend of mind that had two children through IVF jokes that she would give her single friends her last embryo if we wanted it.    I always laughed it off as a crazy option, but the situation with my guy friend is not much different.  What would the child think about me not wanting to bear him/her?

I don’t have the answer to any of these questions right now.   I am still trying to recover from my first cycle.  But he definitely gave me a few things to think about last night.   After going through this process, would you sell your embryos or eggs?

Egg Freezing– The Final Analysis

Currently at about 2 weeks out and wanted to update readers on how I feel and the final cost of the process.

Immediately after the procedure, I was on oxycodone and EXTREMELY constipated.   My ovaries were very inflamed and were laying right on my intestine.  Therefore, whenever my bladder filled, or food was being digested and moving through my GI tract, the pain was excruciating.  For a few days my abdomen was tender to the touch and I was very tired.    Slowly but surely, my body feels like it is getting back to normal, though today I have some dull cramping going on.

I have experienced more acne, recurrent keratosis pilaris and eczema than normal.  This is really annoying.   I think this partially due to the hormonal imbalance as well.

Final cost was about $6800 (not including $500 per year for storage).     Way better than I expected!   I was dreading adding up all of the charges on my AMEX.    About 54% of the cost was attributed to drugs and the balance to MD services.     My insurance did cover all of my lab costs, which is good because I had to have lab work done like five days in a row.

All in all, I guess it wasn’t that bad, though I am glad I have closed that book!

The Hen has Laid!

They got 9 eggs! I am pretty excited with that result! The question remains, do I do this one more time….I am in some pain–it kind of feels like my insides have been bullied. To help with the pain, I am soothing my abdomen with heating pads and taking oxycodon and taking it easy today.

Egg Retrieval Day!

Up early waiting for my sister’s to arrive to take me to the clinic.   A little nervous as this is the first time I have been under general anesthesia.  They say the process is quick–taking only about 45 min, but I will have abdominal pain immediately after.    Basically, the Dr. will stick a needle through the vagina and into each follicle to suck out the egg.  They will then immediately examine its viability and it will be flash frozen.   The nurse said that they can take the pain away with an IV drip (need to find out what they will give me)  if needed, but Tylenol should be sufficient.    I really do hope that they get a big yield of eggs.  I have been a slightly discouraged after reading this post of another woman freezing her eggs.  She had a yield of about 27 eggs–she is also much younger.  However, when I was her age six years ago,   elective oocyte cryopreservation wasn’t really an accessible option, and many facilities were doing the slow-freezing method.   In fact, the first baby born from a frozen egg is only six years old.   I still haven’t decided if I want to do this again, though it would be nice to have a bank of 20 or so eggs to rely on.    Let’s see what the results show first.

I will see ya on the other side!

Last night of hormone treatments

Today is the last day before oocyte retrieval.  Thanks to help from my MD friend, I administered the human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) shot in my bum.  It wasn’t as tough as I thought.   It’s a 25.5 G needle and after an initial prick, fairly painless.   Whew!

HCG will cause me to ovulate tomorrow morning, and then this process will be done! I think have accumulated some fluid and I am EXTREMELY tired.  Starting on Sunday, I will begin 10 days of Provera to get my cycle back on track.

What do I look forward to most after I am finished is the ability to start working out again and a good glass of wine.    I purchased some bourbon last week because I am very anxious to try my recipe for Secret Breakfast Ice Cream.   See you on the other side!

Cote d’Ivoire here I come!

Where in the world is Ivory Coast?

MAD EXCITEMENT! I learned yesterday that a project proposal that my team and I made to my institutionto do health strengthening work in post conflict Ivory Coast and in Ecuador was APPROVED and FUNDED! This means that during my winter break I will spend 2-3 weeks in Cote d’Ivoire working on a project that I will use for my capstone requirement. More to come. Yet another opportunity for me to develop my French! Bravo, Madame! (patting myself on my back!). What’s more, another group of my classmates will be in Liberia next door. Seeing a prime opportunity for 2 new passport stamps!  Nomadicsoulsista is on the move!